I had hoped to post this on Saturday, which was the official “Birthmother’s Day”. But I was spending the day with my family, which always comes first! This is pretty much how I’ve spent every Birthmother’s Day, mostly because I never even knew it existed until I did the research to write my book! I still remember finding out about it, I was so surprised – You mean, all this time, I had a day?
What I like best about there being a special day for birthmothers is that it is openly celebrating the choice these women have made, and honoring their existence. For so many decades, the opposite was true. Everyone trying their best NOT to acknowledge that their adopted children came from someone else. The fact that we finally see the value in not only acknowledging this fact, but celebrating it, shows how much we’ve grown as a society.
However, even though I see the thought process – Birthmother’s Day is the day before Mother’s Day symbolizing that the birthmother came before the adoptive mother became a mother – to be honest, I wish we didn’t have the day. Rather, I envision a Mother’s Day that honors mothers of all types – including birthmothers. I know that’s the day I secretly held as a special day for me after placing my son, even before I had other children. I always felt like I deserved to be honored as a mother because I did what I believe truly makes a mother – I put my child’s needs ahead of my own.
This year, as in years past, my son did not call me on Birthmother’s Day. Instead, he called on Mother’s Day. And to me, it felt right. I also honor his adoptive mother on this day. I don’t think it matters who came first, or what day who became a mother, I think what matters is the love a mother has for her child.
So celebrate this love any day that feels right for you, but always celebrate.
Photo Credit: Patricia D.
